Saturday, 28 December 2013

Trust Issues in a relationship............Sahar Gharachorloo (Life Coach , Trainer of "Law of Attraction , Triner Silva Ultra Mind ESP-USA, Reiki Grandmaster, Pranic Healer , Magnified Healer, Past Life regression therapist, Inner Child therapist, Crystal healing and dowing practitioner, Crystal ball gazer , EFT/TFT practitioner, Card & Coffee reader , Trainer quantum junping)

Trust  & Relationships

We  read and talk about relationships and their  nitty gritty quite often , out of every 10 topics people indulge in while having a conversation relationship is one most consistent and favorite topic, either we talk about our own or  often about others .

We hear people who were madly in love are suddenly strangers ....Couples getting divorce after decades of togetherness and the list goes on.

Though there are many reasons that help a relationship fall apart but one very strong and profound reason seems to be the trust issue , the old saying of where there is no trust there can be no love and there can be no respect usually rings a bell in our ears .

Trust is a very important factor in any form of relationship , whether it is with friends, family and our life partner or even at business and in professional relationships , the growth of the relationship can only happen if there is trust. Where there is no trust there are so many more complications and eventually the relationship would fall apart. 

I have observed a sense of distrust is of course a result of a bad past experience which has been so deeply placed in our system that once trsut is broken the individual who suffered would find it very difficult to trust the same person or even any other person in a similar situation again.

However this needs immediate attention and one has to consciously , continuously and deliberately make an effort to change in order to be able to trust again and as a matter of fact live a full life again. It is so difficult to be always on a defensive mode, to always watch out and be cautious of getting betrayed again , to always look over your shoulders and make calculative moves in order to avoid distrust or betrayal.

If you have suffered once from trusting a person it does not mean that it would happen again, you need to let your guards down and first check if it is you who can not trust or is it the other person who can not be trusted. You need to do a proper examination of the situation and a detailed introspection of yourself to know whose issue is it anyway?

If the issue is with you then this is how you can help yourself :

  • ·         Identify the source of the problem

  • ·         Keep watching your thoughts and your feelings and avoid creating stories and drama to prove that your partner is not trustworthy

  • ·         Keep reminding yourself that not everyone is out there to hurt you and betray you

  • ·         Try to know your partner and yourself better

  • ·         Set boundaries of what is acceptable and what is an absolute no

  • ·         Communicate with your partner and be honest with your feelings , do not bottle up as eventually that would lead to an explosion

  • ·         This one is a tough one but keeping in mind you can not know anyone 100% , give benefit of doubt

  • ·         Remind yourself it is so much more fun to trust and live fully and take chances rather than being always on guard and not allowing your emotional boundaries to resolve

If you are the person who cheated and betrayed and your partner has given you a second chance or you are in love with someone who had been previously betrayed and is still wounded then you need to:

  • ·         Accept your mistake and take responsibility of putting everything back on track

  • ·         Be patient, once you break someone’s trust it may take much more time than you imagine for your partner to be able to trust you again

  • ·         Be persistent by showing through different means and your behavior that you would never hurt him again.

  • ·         Be tolerant , your partner may try to test you or use hurtful words out of the pain you caused him , you need to understand the emotional pain takes time to heal and once we are in pain and have been hurt we usually give back pain

  • ·         Do acts, say words that shows you remember and understand the pain you caused and you are willing to undo that .

  • ·         Communicate as often as possible and ensure the issue is cured from the route cause.

Trust is one of the most ingredients of a healthy relationship ...Don’t abuse someone’s love and emotions ....It may leave scars that would leave it’s marks for a life time.