Friday, 10 January 2014
A day without Judgement....Sahar Gharachorloo
I remember when I was young I was very conscious of how I looked and how I was perceived , though at that time I did not know what it meant to be judged but I remember I would do everything possible to hear my parents, paternal grandmother , uncles and aunts to say that “she is such a good girl” .
I was just 5 or 6 years old when I had a road accident , I was unconscious and have a faint memory that I opened my eyes just before falling unconscious again and I was in my dad’s arms in a car and I was being taken to the hospital , I smiled and said “Dad don’t worry I am fine “.
When I look back I realize how important it was for me to portray that I am fine even at that age. How important it was for me to be considered as strong, brave or simply good girl for even a fraction of a second between the consciousness of the reality I was introduced to and the unconscious of near death experience.
All that mattered was that “I was fine, for everyone to think that I was fine”.
How I wish that no one had told me and taught me what a good girl was supposed to do and I am sure this is not just the case with me but with every single one of us. We all have been always thriving to be good, to please people, to seek their approval not realizing that it is costing us so dear that most of our lives unknowingly all that we have been doing has been trying to buy into a reality that most likely was not even ours and perhaps neither it has been important to us if we were not conditioned by our parents, society or culture.
I talk to so many people who are so unhappy doing the job they do or being in a particular set up personally or professionally but they continue with the same situation as that is how they have been told life is supposed to be.
We always worry about how people see us or what they think of us , concerned if we are doing the right thing , we continuously change to tune to other people’s judgements and seek their approval and we end up seeking happiness in their approval whereas the reality is there is no right and wrong , we need to be good or bad as per our own understanding of good and bad and actually there is no right and wrong , everyone would have a different perception of any situation , we even go a step further and try and prove that what we think is right not only to ourselves but to others too.
Just imagine what if all the conditioning, all the dos and don’ts, right and wrong, good and bad gets eliminated from our dictionary for just a day? How liberating would that be ?A day where we never think anyone is right or wrong ,a day when we don’t judge anything as good or bad and we see everything , every person , every situation as they are without passing any judgement , what if for just a day we stop worrying how good or bad we look , talk , walk , eat or behave by anyone’s standard and even by our own standard? What if for just one day we look at everything as they are without trying to know good or bad of it , right or wrong of it ?
Imagine a day that u don’t care who would talk of you, think of you or judge you for what you say or do? How liberating would that be?
When we learn not to judge others and even ourselves we connect to our awareness at a deeper level, we would see everything more clearly, we would waste lesser energy and time on trying to prove ourselves and we would be more in tuned with our inner self hence happier and more contented. It’s worth a try, just a day without judgement!!!