"Life is not what happens to you < Life is what you make it happen to be"
I come across many people who are stuck in unpleasant situations, whether it is personal or professional, they come to me and I am sure they would meet other counselors to seek help . In all cases my reaction which of course i can not express at that point of time is the same,surprised a bit, sometimes taken aback but mostly astound, they leave me wonder what is wrong with this person? why do they need my help to show them what is going wrong in their life while they are very well aware of what is the problem?Don't take me wrong , it is my profession to help people and i am not being heartless here, my point is 90% people know where is the problem and almost all of them know what exactly is the solution yet they are in denial, they prefer to pretend that they do not know, not because they are not capable of knowing or finding the solution to change their lives for the better but simply because they are scared of the change, scared of moving away from their comfort zone, scared of failing. Having been through a very difficult phase in life myself, i do relate to the emotional trauma, to the agony , stress & anxiety and understand the helplessness amid hopefulness but I am unable to understand how do they expect me to live their life.
I keep thinking isn't it their life? Can't they see it is them who has to take the first step? me or any other person can only guide , we can only suggest , we can not live their life for them.
But eventually i realized it is the fear , it is the resistance to change that keeps people from being happy , from living the life they deserve , from following their heart.
A very recent case has forced me to write this article, hoping that i can lit a small light and bring some kind of realization.
It is important we understand that most of the time our happiness lies just outside the circle of comfort we have created , we also need to keep reminding ourselves that nothing is permanent, the only constant thing in life is CHANGE, we all are changing , when we give-in and accept emotional abuse, mental abuse , a humiliating behavior at work , stressful life style even then we are changing , it is our health and mental peace that is changing and giving it's place to physical ailments and emotional traumas so why not to have a proactive approach and take the slightly difficult yet liberating step and come out of the cancerous comfort zone and lead a better life?
If you are stuck in a situation you feel it is beyond worse , a situation that is out of your control for which you need professional help then why not just step out of that atmosphere and breath fresh air and start afresh or at least take the chance, what can be worse than worse?
We all are conditioned to behave or react or live in a particular fashion , parents, society, the education system , peer pressure etc . But i believe more than the conditioning it is fear of failure and loosing the sense of security which is keeping most people from achieving what they truly are capable of.
A friend of mine told me "Wow! you try so many things , I can not do anything , if i leave this job i would not be able to do anything ", how can anyone know if they can do something different or not unless they try . If you try and fail , you have failed despite trying , if you do not try and think you may fail then you are accepting that you are a failure.This goes for both personal and professional choices.
Perhaps all that is required is to try ....to believe that we are human beings, we can make mistakes, we can fail , we can try as many times as it takes to succeed, we also have the right to be happy , we deserve to lead a life that we like , we all are gifted and we just need to identify what our heart wants to follow, Perhaps we shall stop to exist and We shall start to LIVE !
