I remember when I was young I was very conscious of how I
looked and how I was perceived , though at that time I did not know what it
meant to be judged but I remember I would do everything possible to hear my
parents, paternal grandmother , uncles and aunts to say that “she is such a
good girl” .
I was just 5 or 6 years old when I had a road accident , I
was unconscious and have a faint memory that I opened my eyes just before
falling unconscious again and I was in my dad’s arms in a car and I was being
taken to the hospital , I smiled and said “Dad don’t worry I am fine “.
When I look back I realize how important it was for me to
portray that I am fine even at that age. How important it was for me to be
considered as strong, brave or simply good girl for even a fraction of a second
between the consciousness of the reality I was introduced to and the
unconscious of near death experience.
All that mattered was that “I was fine, for everyone to
think that I was fine”.
How I wish that no one had told me and taught me what a good
girl was supposed to do and I am sure this is not just the case with me but
with every single one of us. We all have been always thriving to be good, to
please people, to seek their approval not realizing that it is costing us so
dear that most of our lives unknowingly all that we have been doing has been
trying to buy into a reality that most likely was not even ours and perhaps
neither it has been important to us if we were not conditioned by our parents,
society or culture.
I talk to so many people who are so unhappy doing the job
they do or being in a particular set up personally or professionally but they
continue with the same situation as that is how they have been told life is
supposed to be.
We always worry about how people see us or what they think
of us , concerned if we are doing the right thing , we continuously change to
tune to other people’s judgements and seek
their approval and we end up seeking happiness in their approval whereas the reality is there is no right and
wrong , we need to be good or bad as per our own understanding of good and bad
and actually there is no right and wrong , everyone would have a different
perception of any situation , we even go a step further and try and prove that
what we think is right not only to ourselves but to others too.
Just imagine what if all the conditioning, all the dos and don’ts,
right and wrong, good and bad gets eliminated from our dictionary for just a day?
How liberating would that be ?A day where we never think anyone is right or
wrong ,a day when we don’t judge
anything as good or bad and we see everything , every person , every
situation as they are without passing any judgement , what if for just a day we
stop worrying how good or bad we look , talk , walk , eat or behave by anyone’s
standard and even by our own standard? What if for just one day we look at
everything as they are without trying to know good or bad of it , right or
wrong of it ?
Imagine a day that u don’t care who would talk of you, think
of you or judge you for what you say or do? How liberating would that be?
When we learn not to judge others and even ourselves we
connect to our awareness at a deeper level, we would see everything more
clearly, we would waste lesser energy and time on trying to prove ourselves and
we would be more in tuned with our inner self hence happier and more contented.
It’s worth a try, just a day without judgement!!!
