Trust &
Relationships
We read and talk
about relationships and their nitty
gritty quite often , out of every 10 topics people indulge in while having a
conversation relationship is one most consistent and favorite topic, either we
talk about our own or often about others
.
We hear people who were madly in love are suddenly strangers
....Couples getting divorce after decades of togetherness and the list goes on.
Though there are many reasons that help a relationship fall
apart but one very strong and profound reason seems to be the trust issue , the
old saying of where there is no trust there can be no love and there can be no
respect usually rings a bell in our ears .
Trust is a very important factor in any form of relationship
, whether it is with friends, family and our life partner or even at business
and in professional relationships , the growth of the relationship can only
happen if there is trust. Where there is no trust there are so many more
complications and eventually the relationship would fall apart.
I have observed a sense of distrust is of course a result of
a bad past experience which has been so deeply placed in our system that once
trsut is broken the individual who suffered would find it very difficult to
trust the same person or even any other person in a similar situation again.
However this needs immediate attention and one has to
consciously , continuously and deliberately make an effort to change in order
to be able to trust again and as a matter of fact live a full life again. It is
so difficult to be always on a defensive mode, to always watch out and be
cautious of getting betrayed again , to always look over your shoulders and
make calculative moves in order to avoid distrust or betrayal.
If you have suffered once from trusting a person it does not
mean that it would happen again, you need to let your guards down and first
check if it is you who can not trust or is it the other person who can not be
trusted. You need to do a proper examination of the situation and a detailed
introspection of yourself to know whose issue is it anyway?
If the issue is with you then this is how you can help
yourself :
- · Identify the source of the problem
- · Keep watching your thoughts and your feelings and avoid creating stories and drama to prove that your partner is not trustworthy
- · Keep reminding yourself that not everyone is out there to hurt you and betray you
- · Try to know your partner and yourself better
- · Set boundaries of what is acceptable and what is an absolute no
- · Communicate with your partner and be honest with your feelings , do not bottle up as eventually that would lead to an explosion
- · This one is a tough one but keeping in mind you can not know anyone 100% , give benefit of doubt
- · Remind yourself it is so much more fun to trust and live fully and take chances rather than being always on guard and not allowing your emotional boundaries to resolve
If you are the person who cheated and betrayed and your
partner has given you a second chance or you are in love with someone who had
been previously betrayed and is still wounded then you need to:
- · Accept your mistake and take responsibility of putting everything back on track
- · Be patient, once you break someone’s trust it may take much more time than you imagine for your partner to be able to trust you again
- · Be persistent by showing through different means and your behavior that you would never hurt him again.
- · Be tolerant , your partner may try to test you or use hurtful words out of the pain you caused him , you need to understand the emotional pain takes time to heal and once we are in pain and have been hurt we usually give back pain
- · Do acts, say words that shows you remember and understand the pain you caused and you are willing to undo that .
- · Communicate as often as possible and ensure the issue is cured from the route cause.
Trust is one of the most ingredients of a healthy
relationship ...Don’t abuse someone’s love and emotions ....It may leave scars
that would leave it’s marks for a life time.
